Some days you feel like you have everything figured out. Other days you feel like a failure as a parent.

For anyone who has ever felt this way, you’re definitely not alone. Some days I feel on top of the world. My kids are acting like little angels, we are on time to everything, I didn’t forget a water bottle, the diaper bag, a kid’s left shoe, etc.

On those good days, you feel like you got this! You were MADE to be a mom. All your hard work, internet searches, blood, sweat, and tears have finally paid off.

Those days are what keep me going as a mom. Of course, it is nearly impossible for every day to be that way. Heck, I’d take one day a week.

For me, the hard days, where everything seems to come crashing down, take a more of a toll on me than I know they should. Especially after the false illusion a great parenting day gives you. Like it will be that way from here on out.

I had one of those hard days recently. Well, a couple in a row.

Flag Football

My oldest had his first day of flag football the other evening. He is naturally athletic and did a great job…but in his mind he did NOT.

Was he the best one out there? No. Do we take sports super seriously at home like we’re preparing our kids for the Superbowl someday? No.

All things considered, he did really well. If any ONE thing does not go his way, however, like someone getting his flag, he loses it. He’s done, defeated. He thinks he is the worst athlete in the world.

I know what you’re thinking. We haven’t instilled in him good sportsmanship.

The fact of the matter is, all kids are different. My 5 year old could care less if he loses. He’s just happy to be with friends. We let our kids lose, we go over feelings about losing, all the things.

It still weighs on our oldest SO heavily. It ruins his whole day. He gets down on himself SO much.

To be honest, it gets to me too. I start to wonder what I am doing wrong as a parent. I start to get self-conscious about other parents and what they might think. That they are comparing their perfect, well-adjusted, children to mine.

I know, I know. No kid is perfect, and no parent thinks that their kid is (well most parents, I assume). My mind is probably making it into a bigger deal than it is. But it IS hard to get past those things your brain is telling you even if you know they aren’t true.

My oldest has so much drive, so much heart, so much EVERYTHING. And hopefully we can help him navigate that into healthy manageable feelings about not ALWAYS winning.

Because you don’t always win in life. Honestly, you probably lose more than you win, and that is something we will just need to keep working on with him.

Another Bump in the Road

So, after our not ideal evening of flag football, the next morning wasn’t much better. It was my three-year-old’s fourth day of preschool. He had been doing SO well every day so far.

He was the kid we thought for sure would scream and yell and not want us to leave him that first day. But we were pleasantly surprised that day as he walked into his preschool, said “I be brave”, and went into his classroom without looking back.

Apparently after three days, however, he finally hit his breaking point. He screamed, cried, and adamantly refused to get into the van to go to school that fourth day. I did not want to have to literally drag him into the school, so I just threw in the towel, emailed his teacher, and told her I couldn’t get him out of the house.

I did this all with my tail between my legs. Would the teacher think I’m just giving into my child? Would this make it even harder the next time I try to take him? There’s no handbook telling you what to do, and EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT.

Our oldest two had no problem going to school. They were never the kids screaming when I left them there. They also went to daycare, whereas my 3-year-old only did for a year. Either way, I never judged the parents of the screaming kids. I also did not want to BE those parents either… But here I am.

Feeling Like a Failure

Two kids. Two big meltdowns. In two days. I really started to feel like a failure at this point. The thoughts started rushing through my mind like a raging river.

Why is my kid not a good sport like all the others? Why is my kid the one screaming and refusing to go to school? Why are my kids not “normal”? It must be my fault.

Even though I knew I was probably being dramatic, I still couldn’t pull myself out of that funk. Ha, maybe that’s where my oldest gets it from… I was so down on myself just like he was during that flag football game.

I needed to give myself some of my own advice. Things aren’t always going to go your way. There’s no such thing as a perfect game. You are not all good or all bad. There will be moments that test you.

My kids had some rough moments (back to back), and it felt like I was completely failing. It felt like I was a bad parent.

But it is IMPOSSIBLE to have perfection as a parent. Our kids are human. We are human. Those things that seem like failures at the time are actually great lessons. For our kids and for us as parents.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Ironically, the same day my three-year-old refused to go to school, my oldest came home that afternoon with his start of year reading and math test results. He scored well above where he should be even by the end of the school year. I was so proud of him, and it reminded me that there will be hard moments, but that they aren’t end all, be all, and they can actually be GOOD for us as humans.

And the good test results didn’t hurt my mom ego either 😉

In addition to the good test results, my three-year-old went to school as confidently as can be and had the best day the next time he had preschool.

It may get hard sometimes (lots of times) as a parent, but the hard things are what make us better if we let them. And there will always be those amazing moments that pick us back up and remind us that we are doing a GREAT job. The rainbow after a hard rain. And we all know we need storms to get to those beautiful rainbows.